Zuehlke

There was something about him that drew you to him in the first place, and no matter what's happened, you may not be as immune to him as you think! If you're eying your ex again in that very special way, try not the make the following mistakes. Remember, there's a reason he's your ex!

Get Back With Ex Mistake #1. Rebounding.
Whether you were in the relationship for ages, or you only shared a few weeks of bliss before the plates started flying, you're going to tend to remember the good times, especially if you're feeling a bit uncertain about being single. It's way too easy to look back at an ended relationship and sigh dreamily over the fun and laughs, but keep in mind that there's a reason the relationship ended. The need for comfort and security can drive us back to someone who's painfully bad for us. Avoid becoming one of those off-again, on-again couples and realize that no matter what kind of security he provides, you're going to be just fine on your own. Early in the break up procedure, you're way too vulnerable to be able assess things thoroughly, so keep an eye on how you're feeling. Are you really missing him, or are you just missing the security?

Get Back With Ex Mistake #2. Getting back together out of pity.
Maybe he's heartbroken without you. You've heard from all your mutual friends that he's on the rocks, lost his job, suffering immensely, not able to move on. You may be tempted to step back in "just for a little while," and help him out until things get easier. As much as we all like to play Wonderwoman, this is just not a great idea. When you step back in out of pity, all you're doing is reinforcing the fact that he needs it. No matter how pathetic he looks, remember that you have your own life to lead. He is not your responsibility and if you're going to be with someone, you deserve to have the motivating emotion be love, not pity!

Get Back With Ex Mistake #3. He's changed, honest!
Did you break up over something he did? Did he cheat on you? Did he use your credit card without your permission? One of the things that's so aggravating about breakups like that is that it seems like it would be so easy for him not to do the thing that pissed you off. It would be so easy to be faithful, to be honest. When it seems like he's made this one simple change, it seems like he's decided to see things your way. The thing to remember is that change is one of the hardest things that we can do, and it is simply not that simple. If you broke up over how to wind the toilet paper, that's one thing. If he's trying to give up a lifetime drug habit, that's definitely another. If you give him a second chance, make sure that he's working for it, and take a good long look to see if he's really changed or if he just wants you back.

Get Back With Ex Mistake #4. Vengeance.
If he broke up with you, do not, under any circumstances, get together with him just so you can break up with him! You might be thinking, "I would never do that!" but it's more tempting than you might think. When someone breaks up with us, no matter what the reason, no matter if we're smart, successful and lovely, we wonder what we did. That self-doubt can be agonizing and it's far too easy for it to turn into anger. Take a deep breath (they're cheap, take five or six) and remember that if he couldn't see your good qualities, you're better off without him. You don't need to spend your time chasing him down to make him sorry. The best sort of vengeance, after all, is showing off your new man.

Get Back With Ex Mistake #5. You don't want to die alone.
Grim, but true. Did you wonder whether you just broke up with the love of your life? The fear of dying alone is one that's pretty pervasive among women. We think that we're the target of ridicule and scorn if we don't have a mate, and it tends to make us cling harder than we should, sometimes. The thing to remember is that this is not a fear that specific to women. Everyone's afraid of dying alone, and it happens to fewer people than you might think. Keep on searching and don't let one bad apple keep you down... or keep you looking back!

Get Back With Ex Mistake #6. Peer pressure.
"You were so good for each other!" "I thought you would be together forever!" "I never thought you would break up!" When you have a break-up, your friends can be counted on to chime in. Maybe they're just misguided, or you never told them the whole story, but sometimes there can be gentle and not so gentle pressure to get back together with the ex. This is especially bad if you have mutual friends and they're actively campaigning for the relationship to pick up from it left off. You are the one who makes the choices in your life and only you can figure out if you make a mistake. Just tell them in no uncertain terms that you had your reasons, and that further pressure will be met with extreme hostility.

Get Back With Ex Mistake #7. You miss his family.
He was a jerk, but man, did you love his mom! Having a significant other can be like being adopted into another family. If they're cool, nice people who approve of your relationship, it's terrific. You get adoration, approval, another few gifts under the Christmas tree... and then the relationship crashes and burns. Getting suddenly cut off from people you might have really loved can be very hard, to the point where you'll get back together with the ex just so you can come to Thanksgiving again. This is a mistake. You're dating him, not his family. Remember, if they're that cool, they'll still want to be friends with you!